


Brave

by silkiemae



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, but still a fave, especially after this episode, i remember how hard i shipped amy and the doctor, like so hard, this is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:57:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkiemae/pseuds/silkiemae
Summary: What if I chose you, Doctor?  What if I chose you instead of Rory?  What then?





	Brave

Amelia Pond sighed, closing her eyes and glancing down at the boy lying in her lap. Her mind was still reeling from watching him die before her eyes. She could still recall the ache in her chest as she watched him slowly turn to dust until he was nothing more than a pile of ash. In that moment she had wanted nothing more than to die with him. A world without Rory Williams was not a world she wanted to live in.  
  
The Doctor was so trusting, he was so willing to believe that she was right that he let her kill him. What kind of person just so willing lays his or her life in someone’s hand? Let alone The Doctor—The Doctor who was the one who usually carried hers and Rory’s lives.  
  
As she looked down at Rory’s sleeping figure she couldn’t help but laugh. They had just spent such a long time in a dream world—or rather a nightmare world, that even the thought of sleep was appalling to her. Yet here was Rory, fast asleep in her arms, a slight smile on his face. She knew that smile was because she had finally said the words back to him, the words he’d said to her every seven hours since the day he proposed.  
  
Yet a very little part of her didn’t mean them. A very small part of her meant those words for someone else—her raggedy Doctor; her imaginary friend who finally came back for her after all those years. She stood up then, letting Rory’s head fall limply on the pillow before silently creeping her way to the control room.  
  
She peered around the corner finding the Doctor with his hands clenched tightly to the rim of the controls, his head down and his eyes shut. He wasn’t crying but she recognized that pain on his face—she couldn’t tell if it was heartbreak or…true physical pain but she wanted to make it go away.  
  
“Doctor?” she whispered, causing his head to jerk up and for him to look her way. A smile broke out across his face and she couldn’t help but smile back.  
  
“Hello, Amy,” he said softly, tiredly. Amy walked over to join him at the center of the TARDIS and leaned against the controls, looking at the Doctor as he looked at her. His eyes were searching her face and she shifted slightly under his gaze.  
  
“What if I made the wrong choice?” she blurted suddenly, catching him by surprise. He frowned, looking around as if she were speaking to someone other than him. “Doctor,” she urged and he finally looked back at her.  
  
“What are you talking about, Pond?”  
  
“I mean…well the Dream Lord, I mean...you, and you said I had to make a choice. Which world was a dream and which was reality. Well the two worlds I was given an option between was your world and Rory’s world—and I chose yours,” Amy rambled, watching as the Doctor’s eyes rolled as he tried to make sense of her rubbish words.  
  
“No,” he said slowly, frowning at her. “You chose the world that had Rory in it. You said yourself, you didn’t want to live in a world that didn’t have Rory,” he repeated, tallying on his fingers. She sighed, exasperated because once again he wasn’t getting what she was saying.  
  
“That’s all still true. But…what if I made the wrong _choice_.”  
  
“Amelia,” his voice was a warning as he was possibly starting to catch on to what she was saying.  
  
“Why did you let me kill you? Us?”  
  
The Doctor ruffled his hair, looking utterly bewildered by the whole situation. He sighed, glancing around the TARDIS as if searching for help. “Because I trust you with my life. And because you trust me and…we trust…each other.”  
  
“Now you just sound like you’re saying random words,” Amy laughed, though her laugh was exasperated. She just wanted him to _understand_ , but he never seemed to. He was the smartest man she knew—the cleverest and yet when it came to her and to what she was trying to say when it came to him, he never understood.  
  
“Doctor,” she tried once more. “What if I chose you, Doctor? What if I chose you instead of Rory? What then?”  
  
“Then there would be a very big hole in both of our lives,” he said.  
  
“You know what I mean, Doctor.” She finally looked at his face then, seeing the sad smile there. He reached forward, stroking her red hair and leaning forward to press his forehead against hers.  
  
“I can be brave for you. I can protect you from Daleks and Cybermen and the whole of the universe—but I can’t protect you from me. Amelia Pond, the girl who waited. It’s better this way, because one day…one horrible, terrible day, I’m going to break your heart. And you’re going to break mine. Then you’ll be glad you chose Rory instead of me.”  
  
“You can’t know that,” Amy whispered, holding onto the Doctor’s wrists as he closed his eyes, pressing his lips against her forehead.  
  
“Oh, but I do. It’s happened over and over again. But I keep letting it happen because I can’t bear to be alone. Amy, you are the most important person in my life right now. Please don’t make me lose you yet.”  
  
She pulled away, looking into his eyes and seeing everything that had made her fall in love with him. The peculiarity of his dialect and the way he seemed to be completely unable to stand still; the ever-childish words and mannerisms. Her raggedy Doctor.  
  
“Alright Doctor,” she whispered. “If that’s what you really want.”


End file.
